Sunday, October 23, 2005

Why's the Rum Gone?

...because I drank it.

In a rare instance of me having a social life, I went to a wedding this weekend. And it wasn't in South Carolina.

No, friends, I went to Atlanta, Jawjeeya for Melinda's uncle's wedding. All told, this trip cost me about twenty bucks. Not bad.

I may not have even felt like going, but the lure of an open-bar reception proved too much for me to resist. It was a Jewish wedding, which was pleasant (meaning brief. And full of broken glass lodged in the feet of the groom, which could be the best wedding ritual ever.) and remarkably similar to other weddings I've been to. At any rate, I spent the entire evening drinking. Even better, nobody else out of the hundred or so folks there wanted rum. I like rum. So around my sixth trip to the bar, the tender informed me that since nobody else was drinking My Rum, he would pour a lot of it into every rum and coke I ordered. I probably had somewhere in the neighborhood of thirteen shots. For free. I developed drinker's mouth, which is when you've had enough to stumble and be loud, but not so much that the floor introduces itself to your face. It was a grand conspiracy between the barman and I, hoarding all of the Jews' rum in my stomach. I felt bad because all I had in my wallet for a tip was a handful of pennies. So I decided not to insult him with a shitty tip.

At any rate, I drank myself to health and then sobered up into being sick again. So I called out of work.

2 Comments:

Blogger Peter said...

so you tried to smuggle the rum out in your belly. This is quite a idea you have here Johnson!

6:42 PM  
Blogger Minda said...

Why is the rum gone my love? Because you freakin drank it all...again!

1:43 AM  

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